Jim Cogley: Reflections Tues 9 Jan – Mon 15 Jan 2024

Tue 9^th Jan – Homelessness

One of the speakers at our Annual pilgrimage in Our Lady’s Island a few seasons back was Fr Peter Mc Verry, the founder of the Mc Verry Trust. He is one man who most deserves admiration as the champion of homelessness in Ireland and who has done more to alleviate this form of suffering than anyone that we can think of. Over the years I have admired him for being an outspoken defender for those who are vulnerable and have no voice. Also, for his relentless and ongoing battles with government agencies, to provide food and shelter for those in need. I deeply share his view that it is a dreadful indictment on our government that in a country that is one, if not the, wealthiest in the world, we have a homeless rate that is ever increasing. The Merchant’s Quay project and the enormous demand for food parcels at Christmas is just one indication, as is the number of unfortunates we see sleeping rough on our streets and in alleyways.

Wed 10^th Jan – Our deepest fear

There is something about homelessness that strikes a very deep chord in each of us. It is perhaps the deepest fear residing in the innermost part of our being. Each time we see a homeless person there is something in us that says, ‘It could be me.’ Is it such fear that makes us want to turn a blind eye, and perhaps even walk to the other side of the street, when we see such an ‘unfortunate’? Many will throw in a few coins that sometimes amounts to a way of alleviating their conscience, because this is what homelessness does, it should make us feel guilty. There are relatively few who will stop and engage in conversation with that person and it can be the few kind words that make all the difference. Most homeless will say that indifference and being treated as the flotsam and jetsam of society is their greatest suffering that far outweighs hunger and cold. Just being acknowledged as a human being, even where there is no money involved, can in their terms make a ‘bad’ into a ‘good’ day.

Thurs 11^th Jan 24 – Homelessness and helplessness

It is a disturbing fact that homelessness makes us feel helpless. This I experienced on many occasions while chatting to a man that has been sleeping in the same partially sheltered doorway for the past four years. He is someone from Bulgaria who speaks six languages and has held down a variety of decent jobs. In his sixties, following a separation, his life went off the rails, and he found himself on the streets. Very aware of his miserable state and feeling quite helpless, I made enquiries from a local councillor as to the possibility of finding him a roof over his head. I was surprised to learn that he had already interceded on this man’s behalf with the local authority and had managed to get him a small comfortable flat. However much to his surprise, and mine, he had only lasted two days and after that was back sleeping in his usual place. ‘Why?’ we might well wonder. From a settled persons frame of reference this did not seem to make sense.

Fri 12^th Jan – The greater pain

Thinking about my homeless friend, apparently preferring a cold and windy doorway to a comfortable flat, I was forced to consider the possibility that while homeless his needs were all about survival and little else. However, once these basic needs were being cared for, the pain of his broken life and fragmented relationships, all came crashing in on top of him and were even more unbearable than sleeping rough. I then wondered were our attempts more a projection of our needs rather than an attempt to meet him where he was at? Initially, I had felt helpless about his situation but now began to wonder if his real needs were within my reach. Looking at his few blankets that offered little protection against the cold I realized that it was very much within my power to make his life much more comfortable, but on his terms.

Sat 13^th Jan – Our wants may not be another’s needs

What were the real needs of my homeless friend? They were obviously not a permanent abode, but some means whereby he could endure the bitter cold of a winter’s night while still choosing to sleep rough. Searching the Internet, I found artic sleeping bags for sale that were ex-army and suitable for sleeping in the coldest of conditions. They were still not cheap, but well worth the price if they were as good as advertised. As soon as it arrived I brought it to him. I have never witnessed a man’s eyes light up so much with sheer delight. Had I given him the present of a beautiful house it would not have meant as much as did that sleeping bag. To me it was the reassurance that in giving him what was within my reach I had actually given him all that he needed. I share this incident purely in the hope that someone reading it, who is aware of a homeless person in their area and feels quite helpless, might consider doing something similar.

Sun 14^th Jan – Listening

The first reading from the OT today relates to how the boy Samuel first experienced his call to be a prophet. A group, when asked what a prophet was, were of the opinion that it was someone who could foretell the future. There may be an element of truth in that but fundamentally a prophet is someone who listens to God and then is able to speak God’s truth into the situation of the time. They often got stoned and put to death for their trouble because before the truth sets us free it usually makes us uncomfortable and the tendency has always been to shoot the messenger before hearing the message. Besides, the strength of a reaction is itself an indication that the truth has been spoken.

Saul was the first prophet in Israel and Samuel was the second. His mother Hannah was unable to have children and the Lord granted her prayer of anguish. When her son was born, she was so grateful that she dedicated him to the Lord. This meant that the boy spent much of his young life in the Temple and that is where we meet him in that first reading. The times seemed to be similar to our own. People thought miracles were a thing of the past and it was rare for the Lord to speak in those days. While the lamp of faith had grown dim it had not entirely gone out.

Twice the Lord called Samuel and each time he thought it was the old priest Eli who was calling. The third time Eli realized that the Lord was calling this young man and he advised him to say, ‘Speak Lord your servant is listening’. From there on we are told that the Lord was with Samuel and he let no word of his fall to the ground.

So that story is really about the prophet learning to listen and this is where most of us have a lot to learn. Experience teaches us that in general people listen not to hear but in order to speak.

The piece of sculpture shown is a very obvious symbol of listening. It’s an ear, but the inside looks like a baby in the womb, and this is to symbolize the truth, that when we listen something new is born.

For most of us our hearing is okay but good listeners are very hard to find. People who are troubled or bereaved often say that they find it very difficult to find anyone who can truly listen to their story without interrupting or switching off.

It feels like an insult to be trying to pour out your heart to someone and a minute later to realize that you are now listening to their story. We all know what that’s like. ‘Well now isn’t that interesting, let me tell you what happened to me…’ Either that or they are trying to give you good advice in order to fix you while the reality is that good advice is bad news for someone who needs a listening ear. When we really listen without interrupting, we help someone sort themselves out, and that’s why when we listen something new is born, symbolized by the child in the ear. This year during the Pilgrimage we introduced a listening service. Quite a few came and offloaded their issues while one lady made an interesting remark. She said, ‘We all have a need to be listened to without before we can hear within’. In other words, someone listening to our troubles can help us to make sense of them ourselves.

Someone pointed out an interesting fact recently that while we hear with our ears we listen with our eyes and our hearts. We know someone is listening when their eyes stay with us while when they switch off the eyes wander.

So, to truly listen is a wonderful form of service and to summarize:

When someone is talking or telling their story the first rule is silence. Don’t feel you need to have an answer running in your head or interrupt with yours.

Second, don’t try to fix them by offering advice. There will be time for discussion after they are finished.

Third, hold eye contact and listen with your heart. When someone is hurting only when they feel heard do they begin to mend.

Finally, being a good listener is a great gift to someone in trouble but for most of us it doesn’t come naturally and it usually has to be practiced.

Mon 15^th Jan – Am I the one?

A question asked by John the Baptist when imprisoned in relation to Christ was: ‘Are you the one to come or must we look for someone else?’ In his miserable surroundings and sensing death on the horizon John probably needed reassurance that he had not given his life in vain. There is a real sense that the same question is being asked of us whenever we meet someone in need. There is always the temptation to refer them to someone else, that we deem as the expert and in so doing to renege on doing what we can ourselves. In regard to someone who is homeless our tendency might be to succumb to feeling helpless, think we can do nothing, and blame the local authority and the State for not doing enough about the homeless situation. On occasion, we may find ourselves out of our depth and a referral may be the right thing to do. However, so often there is some way in which we can make a significant contribution towards that person’s well-being.