Jim Cogley: Reflections – Tues 17 Dec – Mon 23 Dec 2024

Items of Interest: Next Thursday 19^th Dec at 7.30pm in Our Lady’s Island Church we will have A Christmas Carols Evening featuring Ireland’s best female vocalist Celine Byrne along with local choirs. This will be a free evening with seating on a first-come first-served basis. Donations will be shared between SVP and Mary’s Meals.

A seminar entitled: Getting the Past out of the Present – Healing our Damaged Emotions facilitated by Jim Cogley and Luba Rodzhuk will be held in the Edmund Rice Centre in Westcourt, Callan, Co Kilkenny on Saturday the 18^th January from 10 – 4pm. The cost will be €50 with refreshments included. This is the first such event in the area and in a venue that is ideal as a healing centre. Bookings may be made by phone or text to Jim Maher on 0861276649 from 10am – 12noon most mornings. As places are limited booking is essential, and you are advised to apply as early as possible. The postal code is R95RX83.

Tue 17^th Dec – As we sow, so do we reap

I like the story of the little shopkeeper who was struggling for years to keep the family business afloat. The final straw came when a large chain store opened just opposite his that was certainly going to close him down. Was there anything he could do he asked a wise old man? He was told, ‘If you fear the owner of the chain store you will hate him and hatred will be your undoing. So, might I suggest that each morning walk out of your shop and bless your business wishing it prosperity. Then turn towards the chain store and bless it the same way’. At this he was more than surprised. ‘Imagine blessing my competitor and destroyer’. Again, he was told, ‘Any blessing you give him will rebound to your good and any evil you wish him will destroy you’. Months later the shopkeeper met the wise man and told him that as expected he had to close down his shop, but things were never better because he was now manager of the chain store!

Wed 18^th Dec – Fate and Destiny

Fate by its nature doesn’t appear to be either just or kind. Some are born into noble, respectable and wealthy families while others are born into poor or criminal families in troubled areas. Some are fated with good looks and great talents while others are not. Life seems to shine on some while many more live under a cloud. While many enjoy good health others are fated with illness and disabilities. The hand of fate can be very cruel. However, a person’s destiny is not determined by fate but more by how we play the hand that fate has offered us. Resentment and envy at what others have may withdraw us from the game altogether. Yet history abounds with countless souls who having accepted their lot, went on to make the most of what they had and left giant-sized footprints on the earth. From the cruel hand of fate they fashioned a destiny of greatness.

Thurs 19^th Dec – PMS

PMS usually refers to Pre-Menstrual Syndrome but it could equally stand for Poor Me Syndrome. This is where we feel sorry for ourselves and hard done by. When it happens it is usually a disguised invitation to check the focus of our lives. Often some hurt, disappointment or loss has triggered a change from looking out, to looking in. When we do, we find ourselves looking into a black hole that nothing, not God, man or the devil can fill. We then engage in self-pity and become acutely aware of all that we don’t have and lose sight of the blessings that are all around us. We then envy those who seem to have everything that we don’t and in doing become more and more blind to our own gifts and talents. To consciously adjust our focus off ourselves may mean challenging our comfort zone and doing things we have been avoiding. It may mean taking exercise and engaging with friends and allowing the beauty of nature to speak to us. Particularly developing an attitude of gratitude can be a great help because being grumpy and being grateful can’t co-exist.

Fri 20^th Dec – Being a True Reformer

What does it take to be a true reformer? Is it someone who shouts loud, waves banners and organizes protest groups? Is it someone who draws their energy for change by being anti- something else? Some eastern wisdom and many mystics would suggest something that seems an utter paradox; namely that the true reformer is the one who sees something as being perfect as it is and able to leave it alone. They look at it with the eyes of love but not with judgement. This begs the question that if this were to happen would there be any wish to reform anything? Of course, change is necessary, but it is best when it comes through us rather than being a product of our self-effort and less of an ego-centric exercise. This involves a process of inner transformation where in the words of Ghandi, ‘I have first embodied in myself the change I want to see out there’, and so that change can now happen in a totally respectful and non-violent way.

Sat 21^st Dec – Being a Truth Speaker

A newly ordained priest was invited to give a speech at a public assembly. It was a daunting task; he was nervous and invited his former teacher to be present and to evaluate how fit he was for bring the Truth to others. His discourse turned out to be very inspiring and was received very well. Towards the end a beggar came up to the platform and the man immediately stopped his presentation, took off his coat and gave it to him. He then continued his talk. His listeners were impressed and edified by such a magnanimous gesture and he won the approval of all, except his master who later told him that while his words touched the hearts of many, he himself was not yet ready to be a true truth speaker. Slightly annoyed he asked why not? For two reasons he was told. ‘First you did not give the man a chance to voice his need and you assumed he needed a coat. Secondly, you are not yet above needing to impress others with your virtue.’

Sun 22^nd Dec – 4^th Advent 24

It’s the 4^th Sunday of Advent and Christmas is nearly upon us. It’s that time again when there are so many layers to our celebrations. The first is the layer of consumerism from which there is no escape. It begins earlier every year and comes into full swing as soon as Halloween is over. It’s that aggressive selling of goods that puts pressure on people and suggests that without the latest gismos we can’t be happy. To have more is to be more is its message and so it encourages acquisitiveness among children, fatigue among adults and anxiety about overspending. There is no escape from this but it does have a hollow core and to go overboard leaves us not just broke but empty and unhappy as well. Various studies have shown that those who spend the most usually end up the most miserable.

Then there is what could be termed the Charles Dickens layer to Christmas, of the family get together. Peace and goodwill to all people, turkey, ham pudding mince pies and the works. It’s the time of exchanging presents, giving to charities, with a bit of philanthropy and expansiveness mixed in. When asked why she liked Christmas one kid replied because people smile more and even my family are nice to each other for a change! This version of Christmas is what most people have a shot at but in the absence of faith what does it amount to but a bit of respite at a dreary time of year, some pious phrases, a few gifts given and received and then everything goes on as before.

Then the 3^rd level of Christmas is that of the crib which depicts what Christmas is all about. It’s the story of the First Christmas often told in the school Nativity plays which for all their simplicity can be deeply moving. Like children who listen to a good story everyone likes to hear it over again. It never fails to touch our hearts.

The 4^th and deepest layer is the spiritual one. It’s the story of how 2000 years ago in the land of Israel a baby was born. After 1000 years of waiting with numerous prophets foretelling his coming, this child, born to the humble maid of Nazareth was to be the Son of God. He had come to take our human nature on himself. Coming into the world in weakness and in love he was to remind us that we are all God’s children and have an eternal destiny. For saying yes to his coming through her his mother Mary has nominated a few years ago as the most powerful woman of all time. This was not by the Pope or any religious grouping but by the totally secularist magazine National Geographic. She did foretell that, ‘All generations will call me……..’

Should we dismiss the first three layers in order to have a truly spiritual Christmas. Absolutely not. To do so would be to suppose that the spiritual and the material are opposed to each other, which they are not. Christianity includes both matter and spirit. It was into the world of matter that Jesus came, so there is no such thing as a spiritual life apart from a human life and therefore no purely spiritual Christmas. For far too long our faith has been presented as too other worldly where the goal of life was to get to Heaven. Christmas is about God coming to meet us at our level so the true goal of life is to come more down to earth by making God real in our world.

Much of the buying and selling that happens at Christmas puts food on tables, pays bills, fosters gift-giving, encourages good works and affirms family ties. How could all that not be, spiritual?

What Christmas reminds us of is that there is no clear line of division between the secular and the sacred between the human and the divine. Even between soul and body. In fact, all four layers are so interwoven that they amount to one and the same thing; they are all manifestations of Spirit.

Mon 23^rd Dec – Forgiveness

Coming from a Christian background we were always expected to practice forgiveness even if we were not sure what it was that needed to be forgiven. This was a simplistic understanding that was far from helpful and perhaps even harmful. To immediately rush from hurt, either perceived or real, to forgiveness was to step over our anger and while we thought we were burying the hatchet we were also marking the spot. Later, we could be surprised by the ungracious words that could come from our mouths when that persons name came up in conversation or even how we reacted when we found ourselves in the same company. On the other hand, to refuse to forgive is to hold on to the hurt like a badge of identity and engage in resentment. This is where we offer the offending party rent-free space in our heads and it is they who control our thoughts and feelings. Our anger towards them becomes the punishment we inflict on ourselves and the poison by which we murder our spirit.

Forgiveness (2)

Here is an insight around the nature of forgiveness that is a new discovery for me, and one that I am still learning. Practically all my life when I felt hurt by someone, I would immediately begin to make excuses for that behaviour. So, I would say things like; ‘He or she didn’t mean to be so sharp or nasty, they were having a bad hair day or what they did had to be rooted in some childhood insecurity’. This I believed was adopting a non-judgemental approach that I also thought was in line with the Biblical injunction, ‘Do not judge.’ However, what I was overlooking was that whether the hurt was deliberate or otherwise, perceived or even imaginary I was still hurt and so by making excuses, I was simply burying my anger in a manner that was not good for my emotional well-being. I now see the value of acknowledging my feelings and sitting with them. By no longer denying them they pass quite quickly and I can see they may have deeper roots. At that point I am enabled to evaluate the situation much more clearly and then let it go which is the essence of forgiveness.

Forgiveness (3)

Around two thirds of Jesus teaching centred around the mystery of forgiveness. In his dealings with people, he presents it as God breaking his own rules; the law says this but… I say… In dealing with the woman caught committing adultery, the law said she should be stoned, but he said, ‘I don’t condemn you’. The practice of forgiveness brings together three great qualities. First it enables us to place the goodness of others above their faults. It is an experience of grace flowing through us, and it awakens our own goodness in a manner that can be quite surprising. Forgiveness is radical and rule-breaking where an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth no longer holds. It is the great doorway to freedom for ourselves first and only then for the other. It is the only way to keep all boats afloat. Any form of resentment and seeking revenge is to want the other’s boat to sink while forgetting that we are also in that same boat. In dealing with his disciples Christ showed forgiveness by using their mistakes to create a future of redemption rather than retribution.