Jim Cogley’s Reflections: Tues 24th Feb – Mon 2nd Mar 2026
Note: In Ladys Island next Sat 28th from 10-4pm there will be a Wood You Believe Healing Seminar entitled The Hidden Journey of Life – Discovering your Purpose. Applications to 087-7640407. Spaces available.
You can tune in to live broadcasts usually daily at 10am or recordings by going to Our Ladys Island Webcam
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Tues 24th Feb – In Your Face
We all know what it’s like when someone has so invaded our personal space that we feel as if they are in our face. When anger is used in the correct manner it serves to protect personal space by not allowing any form of invasion and creating a ‘back off’ energy. Many of us find this difficult because of having weak boundaries. We may not even realize that we have a right to say ‘no’ or ‘enough’. Somewhere in the past there was an infringement that left a weakness or vulnerability. Many who are abuse victims say, ‘I feel as if I carry a sign on my forehead that says, ‘Here I am, do what you like with me.’ When I always end up feeling the victim of others or external forces, that is a good sign that I have inner work to do. This is first to explore the roots of my vulnerability and use that awareness to claim what is essentially my own space.
Wed 25th Feb – Relinquishing Power
If we were to calibrate our current self-esteem level on a scale of one to ten where might the needle land. Suppose we score seven which would be the most common figure then what are the implications? It means that thirty percent of my space is not available to me and the same percentage of my power is invested somewhere else. Usually, it’s the one or ones who are closest to me who then have that power because I am now relying on them for approval and validation. The power that someone else has over my life is in fact the power I have given them albeit unconsciously. To have my world rocked by what someone else says or does is usually an indication of how enmeshed I have become with them and how much of my power I need to reclaim.
Thurs 26th Feb – A Boy a Man and a Donkey
A boy, a man and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame to see the old man walking while the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, so they changed positions. Then later they passed some people who remarked, ‘What a shame, he makes the little boy walk.’ So they then decided they’d both walk! Soon they passed some people who thought they were stupid to walk when they had a decent donkey to ride. So they both rode the donkey. Next they passed some people who shamed them by saying how awful to put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and the man figured they were probable right. So they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed over the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story is quite obvious. If you try to please everyone and don’t be yourself you may as well kiss your ass goodbye!
Fri 27th Feb – The Long Road to Freedom
Life begins in enmeshment. For our first nine months in the womb we are totally one with our mother. There everything is pre-rational but we do respond to stimuli and absorb at an emotional level whatever the mother is experiencing. To know how we were feeling in the womb we just need ask what was my mother going through at that time? So her grief can be our sadness, her rejection can become ours, her trauma that we carry into life. Because all this is so deeply engrained we believe it to be just ours and so we say ‘this is the way that I am and this is the me that I have to live with.’ The problem is that such an early enmeshment can remain throughout life and we wonder why are we not free, how come my identity is still tied up with her and when she sends me on a guilt trip why do I always have to travel? The fact is that our mother doesn’t just press our buttons, it was she who installed them! This is why breaking free is such a painful process and takes much longer than we think. Yet selfhood can only be found in the going away while love will be proved in the letting go.
Sat 28th Feb – Holding the Line
When our self-esteem is not what it needs to be we will have a need to please, have a fear of rejection and likely have a difficulty in saying ‘no’. If I am not there for myself I will think that I have to be there at everyone’s beck and call. Deep down I will be resenting this and also unconsciously using others and their neediness to make me feel better about myself. This makes parenting difficult because ‘no’ doesn’t mean ‘no’ and we give in to emotional manipulation. Children have a way of capitalising on our weakness in order to get their own way. This is also true with pet control where we forget that by not being firm and holding the line we are creating long-term problems for the animal. Those who can say ‘no’ and mean it tend to command much more respect that those who are doormats. ‘No’ doesn’t necessarily mean ‘never’, it might just mean ‘not now’ and you will need to wait until I’m ready.
Sun March 1st – Transfiguration ‘26
When we listen something new is born!
In the gospel today we see Jesus taking his three closest companions Peter, James and John away from the crowd and up a mountain where they could be alone by themselves. Every step up a mountain offers a wider perspective on what lies below. From there we begin to see how winding roads and meandering rivers intersect with each other. Mountains offer a different view of time, they belong to the story of a million years. There on that mountain we are told that Jesus was transfigured, his clothes became dazzlingly white and they were joined by Moses and Elijah. It was as if the veil of his humanity was pushed aside for a time and they saw him as he really was in his divine essence.
For nearly three years they had walked and talked with him and on numerous occasions they had seen that divinity shine through. This would have been especially so when he had worked miracles of healing or raised someone from the dead. His humanity was like a crumpled paper bag, it was subject to all the limitations of the flesh; it got tired, it had to sleep and it had to be fed and it had to do all the things that bodies do. Now suddenly all that was gone and they were struck dumfounded by the beauty that lay beneath.
The big question is did Jesus come to reveal to us who he was or did he come to reveal who we are? His mission was never for himself so the answer to that question has to be in terms of us and reminding us of something that we so easily forget, that we too have a divine essence, that we are made in the image and likeness of God and that we are his children. The incredible dignity with which he treated every human being human pointed to the fact that beneath the crumpled cloak of our humanity lies something exquisitely beautiful that words cannot even define. Hidden beneath is a diamond. Jesus alluded to it when he spoke of the kingdom being within or the treasure in the field or the pearl of great price.
The great tragedy is that most of humanity is totally unaware of this incredible dignity that is ours. We get totally caught up with the crumpled bag that we completely lose sight of the treasure that is within. Then we end up with such silly thinking that our value lies in what we do or in what we have, in how we look or in what others think of us. In comparison with the awesome wonder of who we really are these things are paltry in the extreme.
To know our true worth, to discover who we really are and to find our true selves it is absolutely necessary to come apart from the noise and the crowd every so often otherwise we simply get lost in the world of what the Buddhists call Maya or the world of illusion where we might think that having more means to be more or that increasing the speed might help but forget that if we are not on the right track it doesn’t really matter.
It’s from taking time out to be quiet and allowing our souls to catch up that we truly become disciples of the master and learn to listen to his voice. The word disciple means to be a listener and a learner. Perhaps the most effective means any of us have to make a difference and to serve the world is simply by learning to listen to God. After all who has the more to say, Him or us? The way some folks rattle off prayers you would think that the only one who had something to say was us.
Finding someone who is a good listener is quite rare. Just because we have two ears that can hear doesn’t mean that we practice listening. For most of us the need to be heard is so much greater than our desire to listen and so we find that when we begin to tell a story the other jumps in with, ‘Well now isn’t that interesting, wait till I tell you what happened to me.’
Just one simple word from God can be an inspired idea that can bring countless blessings. The privilege is there for all of us if we but learn to take more time to be quiet and to listen. God’s voice may come like a whisper, others describe it as a still small voice while others describe it as a thought that is dropped into our brain that carries compelling authority and usually a sense of urgency. With too much noise in our lives we are definitely going to miss it and even when we fine tune ourselves we may even doubt it. But when we do make the leap of faith and trust it wonderful things can happen.
One of the latest whispers of Spirit for me was just a simple instruction, ‘Get yourself a dog’. Since I was aged 18 I never once considered the possibility of having another dog so it was a whisper that took very much by surprise. I have to say that it has also been a lovely surprise and Corky that you see beside me in Church is an absolute delight and has brought great joy into my life. So much so that I bring her nearly everywhere and want to share her with everyone.
If you spell dog backwards its god and like God, she radiates unconditional love. There is no one Corky will not love. She is free to move around after but not during Mass and people can interact and treat her as theirs as well as mine and meanwhile I will get used to no longer being asked how I am but, ‘How’s Corky?’
Mon March 2nd – The Blame Game
Boundaries were often an issue when growing up. I can remember my father having many heated discussions with neighbours when their sheep or cattle would trespass on our land and often do a lot of damage depending on the crop sown and the time of year. It was usually a blame game where the trespasser would be deemed fully responsible and my father would be quite irate and threatening legal action. It was ironic that he died when I was eleven while fixing fences. The significance of this took me years to appreciate. However, even as a small child I used to think who was really responsible? Was it the farmer next door for allowing his animals to trespass, or was it not my dad for being careless when it came to fencing and not having strong boundaries in place? It’s all too easy to blame the one who belittles us, makes us feel small, or even intimidates us, but it takes real maturity to recognize that this can only happen if my boundaries are weak in the first place.