Irish Independent: Parish priest’s ‘five-minute tribute’ solution for eulogy ban is ruled out: ‘We’ve had horror stories’
Sarah Mac Donald
A parish priest’s appeal to the country’s bishops to issue one standardised guideline on funeral eulogies that can be applied consistently in every diocese has been ruled out.
Fr Michael Toomey, a parish priest in the diocese of Waterford and Lismore, told the Irish Independent that at the moment, it depends on where a person dies and their parish priest as to whether a eulogy is permitted.
“Every diocese is different and has a different policy in regard to eulogies or what we call a ‘word of thanks’ at funerals.”
Referring to it as a “postcode lottery”, he said the bishops can see the differences between dioceses on eulogies. “What is happening in one parish may not be allowed by the priest in the next parish. That is wrong,” he said.
While some priests allow a eulogy, Fr Toomey said some refuse. “There have been horror stories of eulogies lasting up to 45 minutes. Some can be inappropriate with bad language. You are in the house of God and people forget that.
“The challenge is trying to get the balance right. If we had a collective guideline that allowed one person to speak for less than five minutes either before the funeral mass or after it, I think that would solve all the problems. It would give clarity.
Fr Toomey also criticised the fact that an exception is sometimes made to allow a eulogy for a politician or a pop star but not for ordinary parishioners.
“It is very important that you treat everyone equally,” he said. “If you allow it for a dignitary or someone who is famous, you need to do the same for Mary Murphy down the road. When you start treating people differently – that is wrong.”
He said the funeral of Shane MacGowan last year “was way too much and got out of hand”.
The issue of funeral eulogies was raised on RTÉ’s Liveline recently when Donegal woman Dee McGettigan revealed a parish priest refused to allow her family say anything at the joint funeral for their parents who died two days apart during Christmas 2023.
When asked about Fr Toomey’s proposal, a spokesperson for the country’s bishops referred to the “universal instruction” applying to priests throughout the world.
“At funeral masses there should usually be a short homily, but to the exclusion of a funeral eulogy of any kind,” it states.
Martin Long said the Order of Christian Funerals, published by the Irish Bishops’ Conference, incorporates this international norm across Ireland’s 26 dioceses. He said it is the responsibility of each bishop to implement this guidance in his diocese.
Cloyne, Raphoe and Meath specifically rule out any eulogy at funerals. Fr Tim Hazelwood of the Association of Catholic Priests serves in Cloyne. He supports Fr Toomey’s call as it is the “practice” on the ground in parishes.
“The problem is the extremes. The blanket ‘no’ to a eulogy or when the eulogy is 40 minutes long because someone’s ego takes over,” Fr Hazelwood said.
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