Jim Cogley: Reflections Tues 7 Jan to Mon 13 Jan 2025
Hi everyone, In response to a huge interest in the area of regression that was sent out some months ago the following reflections were written. I hope you find them insightful and please pray that as they take flight they will reach the right people. For so many gaining insight as to what is happening in their lives is a matter of life or death. Thank you for passing them on and encourage your recipients to do the same so they can take on a life of their own.
- Regards
- Jim C
- frjimcogley@gmail.com
- https://www.ourladysisland.ie/
Weekday transmissions of services usually take place at 10am daily and Sundays at 11am
There will be a Wood You Believe seminar entitled A Journey into Wholeness facilitated by Jim Cogley and Luba Rodzhuk on Saturday 25th January in Our Lady’s Island Community Centre from 10-4pm. Cost €40 with light refreshments included. Bookings by phone or text to 087-7640407
Tue Jan 7th – Regression
During a lifetime of counselling, I have witnessed innumerable people come in my door in a very distressed emotional state and thankfully go out, still aware of their pain, but with hope and often with a smile on their faces. Such individuals often felt that their life was at an end, that they had lost the plot and even hope seemed hopeless. What had changed during the session was usually a dawning awareness of where they were at and what was happening in their inner world. Having a grasp of one’s situation is like finding a bridge over troubled water where I am no longer being swept along by the current. Years of practice makes any counsellor alert to the nature of regression, and where a person’s chronological age and their emotional age may be completely out of sync. Our emotional age in a time of difficulty is like a default position that given the right triggers I slip into, and in so doing seem to lose my grasp on my adult, normal self.
Wed 8th Jan – Revealing Questions
When someone is in a regressed state, it is to say the least, highly disturbing, largely because there is usually no awareness of what is happening. Suddenly we have become strangers to ourselves, and our reactions and thoughts seem strangely familiar, but yet foreign. The sense of having a mental breakdown is very real and the intensity of the emotional pain forces many down the medical route of medication to block out the pain that feels unbearable. Some key questions I often ask when I sense this regressed state are ’If you didn’t know what age you were what age would you be?’ Another is ‘At what age were you when you stopped being a child and were forced to become an adult?’ Yet another is, ‘What stage of your life would match your present emotional reality?’ Often these questions awaken the untold story, and it begins to unfold along with the emotions that were repressed at the time, because they were too overwhelming.
Thurs 9th Jan – Seeing as we are and not as it is
While in a state of regression a person doesn’t just react from that emotional age, rather they are that age and act out of that age. The particular default age is where the person sees the world from, and so it can be a crucifixion to have to deal with adult reality like going to work, standing in front of others, coping with teenagers who are emotionally older than you, and even trying to relate to a partner. In effect, depending on the age of the regression, the regressed person hasn’t yet had children nor have they even met their partner. For the victim this is quite troubling and incomprehensible, that even nearest and dearest can seem like strangers and are experienced as a burden. Even the ability to communicate is gone and the person feels utterly isolated and even beyond help. In this state there are no markers as to how long the turmoil might last, will I end up needing psychiatric care, or even will I survive the intensity of the onslaught. Many during this state become convinced that the angel of death is not too far away and even pray that he hurries up.
Fri 10th Jan – Where do we regress to?
The nature of a person’s behaviour when they are in a regressed state usually provides a good indication of what level of emotional development he or she is dealing with. Babies and infants are needy and look for someone to take care of them. This intense neediness is characteristic of someone who has regressed to that infant stage where issues of rejection and abandonment often feature. For someone who was adopted or separated from parents this can be a key issue. Infants have great difficulty entering into the world of others and in that regressed default place the regressed person lives in a world where there is only a population of one and life is only about them. The need for instant gratification also is a feature of infancy and this too can be very obvious in that regressed state. Infants also are only capable of using others as objects to meet their needs and this tendency to use people in a selfish non-considerate manner is often apparent in those who have regressed.
Childhood regression is extremely common, even in its extreme form, where it has become a state of being and not just a childish reaction. Sometimes it’s even possible to look at a grown adult and still see a child that has never grown up. It’s as if as the child got older, it only grew in size and put of adult clothing. Being childlike and childish are very different. Childish behaviour can include blaming and complaining, withdrawing, manipulating, seeking revenge and being sarcastic when not getting their own way. They also have great difficulty when it comes to expressing their own needs. In this default state the regressed one exhibits much the same behaviours. Often the unmet needs of childhood have been projected onto a partner and thus precipitated a crisis or break-up of the relationship. This in turn has awakened the inner child who has been screaming for attention for many years but never heard as long as there was a parent substitute available.
Sun 12th Jan – To Be Baptised
On this Feast of the Baptism of the Lord I would like to offer a few reflections not on Christ’s baptism but rather what does it mean to be baptized or what is the significance of Baptism in our lives? It may well be that as we journey through life, we never give what happened to us back there any serious reflection.
There was a time when we could do little more that sleep, eat and excrete when our parents brought us to this church or some other to present us for Baptism. It was an expression of the way that they wanted the best for us and desired to pass on the faith that was important to them. What was it that really happened in that ceremony where we possibly never even woke up or perhaps even screamed our way through?
At a very basic level our lives were pointed in a particular direction, we were orientated towards God. The faith that had been faithfully passed down from one generation to another was being delivered to our doorstep and later it was going to be up to us to decide what we would do with it. Every generation is a link in a chain and if even one of those links had been broken through countless generations the Christian Faith would never have reached us.
As our parents, Godparents and relatives held us in their arms it was an expression of God holding us in His loving arms. As our loved ones smiled upon us so was God saying about us what he said about Jesus ‘This is my child, the beloved, in whom I am well pleased’. All this happened before we were capable of doing anything to earn or deserve that love and guess what, God doesn’t change and that is the way he continues to love us. He loves us not for what we do but for who He is. As we get older it’s so easy to fall into the trap of thinking that Gods love for us is conditional and performance-based, which is simply not the case.
In Baptism then we were invited into relationship with God as a child that he loves and not just initiated into a system of rules and regulations. What a tragedy that for so many the Christian life is and has been seen as a worthiness contest as to how well we keep the rules. I like the story you may have heard already of the man who having parked on double yellow lines failed to pay his fine and was summoned to court. The day before his friend remarked that he didn’t seem very worried about his appearance to which he replied, ‘Why would I have reason to be worried when the judge is my friend?’
Baptism is also about being welcomed into the Christian community. There is an innate need in all of us to be part of a bigger picture and belong to a family that is wider than our own. This is where the ever-growing trend towards more and more people living in isolation is so contrary to what it means to be baptized and to be Church. It is also so detrimental to mental health and well-being. In every community this is a major problem where people live next door but don’t know each other. As a Church we have a huge responsibility in that regard to do what we can to reverse that trend. The extension taking place on our Community Centre is one such response.
In Baptism our heads were anointed with the oil of Chrism both as a prayer and a reminder that our lives were about service of others and not about ourselves. That for each of us God has a work to do that is given to no other; that our lives have the capacity to make a difference and we can leave this world in a better state going out of it than when we came into it. I have always found that thought very comforting that God does have a plan for my life and that He has called me to do something unique and special for him and that is also the fullest expression of who I am as a person.
Speaking to a man recently who is very prone to guilt and feelings of unworthiness, I had to ask him, if in relation to his own children, he would as their father want any of them to be burdened by any sense that he still holds the mistakes they made as children against them or would he want any of them to not feel that were good enough to be loved by him. Naturally he answered, ‘Of course not’. So I reminded him, that if God is his heavenly father would He be any different, in fact would He not be a million times more loving and merciful?
This is to appreciate what it means to be baptized, it is to choose to journey through life knowing that my guilt is taken care of; all I have to do is acknowledge my wrongdoing and ask forgiveness. Christ has carried my guilt, so I don’t have to, and that as a child of God a burden of unworthiness is not something that I need to be carrying either since I live not under God’s frown but in His favour. To put it another way, it is our baptismal right as a child of God to walk this earth without any trace of guilt or unworthiness. It is to each of us, and not just to Christ, that God says, ‘You are my beloved child and in you I am well pleased.’
Mon 13th Jan – Adolescent regression
Adolescent regression is no less common than childhood regression and relates to how well the person has navigated the painful years of being a teenager. Here there is usually a greater ability for rational understanding and verbal expression as to what is happening. During those turbulent years there may have been bullying, abuse, bereavement or not being able to belong. The key issue is, was there anyone to talk to about these issues? Usually the answer is ‘no’ or in some cases like abuse, telling someone and not being believed. All the emotional issues associated with the event now becomes internalised and begin to form that person’s belief system. This might take the form of ‘never being heard or believed’, ‘the world is not a safe place’ or ‘there is something wrong with me.’ Layer upon layer of repressed emotions are then carried into adult life. These may lie dormant until the right time and when conditions are favourable for their emergence. When this happens and the Pandora’s box is opened, it cannot be closed again until all those soul elements have been welcomed back to where they belong. Soul retrieval and integration is key to the healing of regression and reclaiming the adult self. In the absence of soul retrieval work that can restore life and vibrancy, psychotic medication can only offer an existence.