Jim Cogley’s Reflections: Tues 13 Jan – Mon 19 Jan 2026
You can tune in to live broadcasts daily at 10am or recordings by going to Our Lady’s Island Webcam
For ordering books at lowest prices go to jimcogley.com (Some volumes have been hijacked by other websites at crazy costs and without permission)
Details of seminars/retreats will be posted here when dates have been finalized.
Tues Jan 13th – The Myth of Narcissus
One of the most popular psychological labels of our time is Narcissism. The Internet is laden with the symptoms that pertain to this condition leading many to think that they have discovered the key to understanding someone’s behaviour. Perhaps it would be more fruitful to try and understand the reasons behind narcissistic behaviour than in the label attached to it. The original Greek/Roman myth provides some useful insights into this condition which relates to the tragic sacrifice of the true self on the altar of the false self. The legend is about a handsome youth who while out hunting sees his reflection in a pool of water and falls in love with his own beautiful face of which his mother was so justly proud. In the legend there is also a nymph called Echo who answers his calls because she is in love not so much with him as with his beauty. For Narcissus this is very deceptive as he is being loved for his appearances and not for himself.
Wed Jan 14th – Blinded by Beauty – Enchantment
Continuing the myth of Narcissus who is fixated on his own appearance it is his beauty that deceives him since it shows only his perfect wonderful face but blinds him to his inner world. His shadow side becomes obscured and inaccessible. He cannot see his history, his childhood, his pain or his emotions. It is as if they do not belong to him as they are so far at variance with his beloved reflection. This is a true ego characteristic. It creates the illusion that all is well, that there is nothing wrong in my world and I don’t need to do any inner work. As my shadow side is hidden to me, I can only see what is wrong out there and how others need to change. It is a fixation on image that creates the illusion of being perfect so that in the end of the day everything is only and all about me. To hold this place I need constant adulation and am unable to feel empathy for others in their pain since I am so divorced from my own.
Thurs Jan 15th – Maintaining the Image
Applying the early part of the Narcissus Myth to life and how easy it is to become fixated on outer appearances and the maintenance of image. Society rewards beauty and appearances and helps land the best jobs. Visual imagery is captivating and alluring. Having intelligence and a good education are greatly prized as the way to get to the top. Being gifted with talent like music, drama or artistic ability are usually a powerful means of achieving recognition. Sporting ability can give the status of hero worship. Having money or property and being seen to be successful leads to a sense of being a cut above the rest. These are all good and desirable in themselves, but the downside is that they have the potential to leave one captivated – a hostage to one’s own ego, so identified with the outer as to be completely blind to inner realities.
Fri Jan 16th – Disenchantment and Depression
Continuing with the Myth of Narcissus, the first phase, that of rapturous enchantment is also a form of grandiosity where he feels different, aloof, apart, better than all the rest. He possesses a godlike quality of superiority. He may not look down his nose but never can espouse equality. However, that cannot last and eventually gives way to disenchantment and depression. In not wanting to be anything but the beautiful youth Narcissus had totally denied his true self. While trying to hold onto the image of the beautiful boy that he once was he gives himself up to death or in Ovid’s version to being changed into a beautiful flower. This comes as a logical consequence of being totally fixated on his false self.
Sat Jan 17th – Aborted Awakenings
Trying to maintain the image of the false or small self, Narcissus and all of us, stand to lose our true self. In the words of Shakespeare ‘time will transfix the beauty set on youth’, old age calls for a different kind of beauty that is inner attractiveness. Sex appeal will diminish with older age as will the lust of the flesh. Great sports stars have to retire early. A business may go bust and relationships break down. Even geniuses must retire. Failure comes under many guises of crippling humiliations. The image we carefully cultivated and invested so much of our time and energy into needs to be shattered before the true self can be born. To steadfastly hold onto what was, trying to reinforce each breach as it appears, and resisting change at all costs, is to do serious violence to our true self. It is to be a victim of image that has never awakened to what is real.
Sun Jan 18th – Lamb of God
Not what we see but how we see!
It seems to be a basic truth that we tend to see people and situations not as they are but more as we are. Three people can report on an event in such a manner as to appear that someone must be lying. This leaves us with a few challenging truths, the first being that if we want something or someone to change we have to start with ourselves and second, that the way we view our community reflects more on ourselves than it does on the area and people where we live.
A story is told of a stranger who arrived at the entrance gate of a city and enquired from an old wise man as to the kind of people who lived there. The man asked him what the people were like in the place where he have come from. He replied, ‘I couldn’t find a good word to say about them. They were as mean and selfish a lot as you could find, they certainly did nothing to make you feel welcome, in fact they would hardly bid you the time of day. They had no time for anyone only themselves and were most unkind and inconsiderate.’ Well said the old man, ‘You will find them no different in this city.’
Later in the day another stranger arrived and asked the old man the same question as to what the people were like in the city and again was asked the same question, ‘What were they like where you have just come from?’ ‘I couldn’t find a bad word to use against them,’ he was told. ‘They were as open and kind as you could imagine, most welcoming and would go out of their way to help you if they possibly could.’ ‘Aye,’ said the old man, ‘then you will find the people inside here to be much the same.’
It’s how we see things on the inside that determine how we see things on the outside. It’s not what but the way that we see it that matters. In fact, you could say it’s our inner world that creates our outer world. We all know what it’s like to look out at the landscape on a wet and dreary morning and think what a miserable sight. Two hours later the clouds have gone and the sun is shining and we think how beautiful it all looks. It’s the same reality each time but seen in a different light.
Some years ago, I called to a house where I found a woman I never met before. She had lived on her own for the past five years and didn’t have many nice things to say about the people in her locality. She found them a most unfriendly bunch who had very little time for the stranger. No one ever called to her house and she felt quite isolated. What I also found was that since coming here she had always attended Mass elsewhere, she never shopped locally and had made no attempt to make herself known to anyone. In her regard I just felt that her negativity was quite unjustified given the fact that she herself had made no effort to meet anyone. Probably she came not knowing anybody and so had no one to introduce her to the community. In situations like that all it often takes is just one kind soul to take that person under their wing to get them up and running.
Even Christ needed one such person whom he found in John the Baptist. When he arrived from Nazareth he was completely unknown. So, he needed someone to introduce him to the public and launch him on his public mission. Seeing him passing shortly after his baptism John said to his disciples, “Here is the Lamb of God, the one I spoke of when I said, ‘A man is coming after me who ranks before me, the strap of whose sandals I am not worthy to untie.’” With such generous words he introduced Jesus to the public and opened the way for him.
What John did, said a lot about the kind of man that he was. He was the star that was about to be eclipsed by Jesus so he could just as easily have ignored or criticized him. Instead, he pointed him out and built him up, even saying, ‘He must increase while I must decrease’. He didn’t see him as a threat who was going to lessen his power but as a friend and ally. What generosity of spirit was he showing in so doing? It’s the kind that so many of us just don’t have. Many who have to take on a role once occupied by another find that in the eyes of the one they replace they feel ridiculed and can never do anything right. There is always someone who is more gifted or talented than we are and unless we are secure in ourselves we will feel put out, find a way of putting them down and certainly not open our hearts to them. It takes a truly great person with a noble heart and generous spirit to welcome on board someone who is more gifted than they are, but in so doing they are revealing their greatness. For example, if I am insecure in my role as a preacher I will be slow to welcome anyone who is better than me but to the extent that I am comfortable in what I do then I will be able to welcome anyone who is able to present the good news in a different and more effective way.
In terms of magnanimous gestures there was a lovely story on the Daily Mail some years back of a man who had recently got engaged and was more than surprised to hear a message being read out over the local radio from his wife who had died four years previously. This woman while dying of cancer and knowing that she would be leaving behind her husband and four children had drafted a letter and asked a friend to give it to the radio station whenever her husband had found a new love in his life. In the letter she welcomed the new partner into her husband’s life and thanked her for agreeing to become a mother to her four children. She expressed great love and affection for this new woman, as yet unknown, who would restore happiness to her husband and wished them both every blessing. On the basis of them having known such a wonderful marriage and the good man that her husband was she believed that this woman would be something very special and that she truly loved her.
Rather than fearing that she would be forgotten she was secure enough to realize that her husband’s ability to find a new partner would be a testament to the depth and strength of their marriage it was possible for her to open her heart to this new lady and want the best for her. Perhaps had the marriage not been so good it may not have been so easy. In a real way she was expressing what is the essence of love which is quite simply to want what is best for the other person.
So many reading that article and hearing that letter must have got quite a jolt knowing that it was a far cry from where they were at in their understanding of love. Yet it still expressed that beautiful and challenging truth that if you truly love someone you will always want their wellbeing more than anything else – more than your hold on their heart and even more than your place in their memory. And therein lies true greatness.
Mon Jan 19th – The Ultimate Betrayal
Reflecting on the Myth, it is not only the beautiful and pleasant feelings so cherished by Narcissus that make us come alive, enrich our existence and give us insight. Rather it is far more likely to be our shadow, or more unacceptable side, that will bring us home to who we really are. Of course, we would rather try to avoid our weak and vulnerable sides, we don’t want to own our shame, envy, jealousy, confusion, rage and sadness. Yet it is these very feelings that if experienced and integrated that can open the door to our inner world that is much richer than the Narcissus ‘beautiful countenance’. The real tragedy of the Myth is that Narcissus allowed his passion for his false self to make it impossible to love others, and paradoxically for all his being so ‘in love’ with his idealized image, to fail in loving the one person who was fully entrusted to his care, namely himself.