Jim Cogley’s Reflections; Tues 29th July – Mon 4th Aug 2025

Note: A Wood You Believe retreat will be given by Jim Cogley and Luba Rodzhuk in Mt St Annes Retreat Centre Portarlington from Monday evening 15^th Sept to Thurs 18^th. Early booking is recommended.

Bookings and enquiries to Mount St Annes only on 057-8626153.

My email is: frjimcogley@gmail.com

Books in Wood You Believe series can be ordered online at jimcogley.com

Tues July 29^th – Denial or Indulgence?

We live in a very sexualized culture where the repression of earlier generations is being given expression in the present. In the not-so-distant past sex was the only sin and the behaviour young people take for granted today their ancestors believed would have caused them to roast in hell.  Many still struggle with sexual feelings and find it a stressful way to live where they are controlled by thoughts and desires and don’t feel free. To deny life and its impulses is never the way to find joy and peace because what we deny will always seek expression and the very act of denial only serves to feed the flames of desire. At the same time indulgence is not an alternative since it just leads to enslavement. To give free reign to one’s impulses is to be controlled by them. There must be a middle way, the acceptance of all that we are, and working with reality rather in opposition to it. Somewhere within that space it is possible to find peace.

Wed July 30^th – The Way of Indulgence

The story of the Prodigal Son is a good example of someone who had a big appetite for life and went the way of indulgence. Having exercised his freedom and denying himself nothing he lost his senses and ended up with an inner life that was completely depleted. It took rock bottom for him to regain his sense and come home to himself. Similarly, a man found himself living in a garden shed because his wife had discovered he had been watching porn late into the night. He failed to see that it was a betrayal of their relationship, but she knew that it was, and how unavailable he had become. When asked to describe what his addiction was like he said that the deeper he went into it the more his mind had become a cess pool as it chased one alluring image after another, and he had become less and less present to himself and to his wife and family. It had literally robbed him of his senses.

Thurs July 31^st – Freedom

During my years teaching in Secondary School, I asked a group of Leaving Cert students what was their idea of freedom? One seventeen-year-old said that freedom is ‘to be able to do whatever you want to do, with whoever you want to do it with, and as often as you want to do it’. This opinion generated quite a lot of discussion with the rest of the group. Most of them would have initially agreed but gradually began to see that the concept was fundamentally flawed, to the extent that it could only lead to the very worst forms of enslavement. What value does that kind of freedom have if you don’t have any control over the consequences. To be free to break the law is to incur the punishment of the law. To be free to break any commandment is to break oneself on it. Gradually the realization dawned that freedom is not the ability to do whatever one wants but to do what one ought to do.

Fri Aug 1^st – Expectations

So many enslave others in the most subtle and respectable ways that are considered normal in society. To expect another to be true to a relationship, when put under scrutiny is not to want a partner but a slave. This is someone who will always be there when I need them and who will be the answer to all my needs. This is to bind someone to oneself much like a bond servant of earlier times who was entitled to no life of their own. Most couples get married expecting the partner to be true to the marriage. This seems like the least one should expect. However, does it not turn the marriage into an institution where again one can feel trapped? On the other hand, if you were to expect a partner to be true to themselves are you not empowering them with the freedom necessary to be true both to you and to the relationship? You are only now exercising love with no strings attached.

Sat Aug 2^nd – Addiction

One of the worst forms of enslavement is to be in the grip of an addiction. This is where I want more and more of what I don’t really need and yet am convinced that I can’t live without it. In a state of addiction, I always live one step removed from myself and it is my inner void that cries out to be filled. Just as nature abhors a vacuum so does the inner world of soul crave connection and completion. This is also the world of lies where I even begin to believe my own. My ego will try to convince me, and also others, that things are not as bad as they really are and contrary to all evidence I am still in control of my life. So, for brief periods I can reinforce the illusion and give up my substance abuse for brief periods while after each relapse I sink deeper. It is really only at the point where my ego resources have finally run out and been declared bankrupt that I will be ready to admit my powerlessness and acknowledge that only a higher power can restore me to sanity.

Sun Aug 3^rd – Wisdom of Heart

I once knew someone who, like the man the Gospel, and so many in the Ireland of today, who had a good harvest in that life had been good to him. He was gifted with business acumen and had found a niche market while still quite young. His business prospered and made him a multi-millionaire. He then retired at 60 and was ready to live the dream of so many. He took his world cruise and went on several exotic holidays every year. He owned an expensive yacht, a holiday home and a top of the range car.

Yet with such a full life, and all the adult toys he could wish for, he was still unfulfilled, and he carried an emptiness that he was reluctant to face up to or even admit. He came seeking advice because he felt so lost and he was smoking himself silly. Also, while not an alcoholic, was drinking more than was good for him.

At one level he had succeeded in achieving everything that the world could offer in terms of finding happiness. He began to notice that the more he had accumulated externally the emptier he was feeling on the inside. The more he had gained the world the more he was losing his soul. He was painfully aware of a vacuum within that cried out to be filled.

We talked about the burden and responsibility of having wealth. How it can create a false sense of security and even become equated with one’s identity. Having more doesn’t mean to be more. I suggested that having retired so young and still with lots of energy he might consider making an investment in a project that would be more of legacy that would outlast him, that when on his death bed his deeper self would thank him for. In other words, why not use his money and expertise to make a significant difference in the world. Perhaps create a charitable company, using his own resources initially but in a manner that would eventually become self-supportive.

I still feel a sense of deep sadness for him that he never got beyond the place of basically living for himself, spending on himself and worrying about how he should divide the remainder of his wealth between his family, none of whom really needed it. I watched him lead a life of indulgence centred around his own family circle. It wasn’t a healthy lifestyle, he never exercised, he vegetated in front of the TV and his health began to deteriorate. Even with failing health he remained in a death-defying mode. While hardly able to walk he was still planning a makeover for his house, bought himself a bigger yacht and upgraded his car to the latest model.

It was sad to see him acting as if everything was normal. Everyone who knew him could see that he was fast running out of road while he himself seemed to be in total denial. I wasn’t with him when he passed but I suspect that he was still entrenched in denial. I also suspect that death came to him as a thief in the night rather than as a welcome visitor.

Knowing him over many years I felt a deep sense of sadness over so many missed opportunities to have done something wonderful with his life. In life he was admired as a successful businessman but nothing of that could he bring with him. When the demand is made for all of our souls it will no longer matter what we had but more what we made of ourselves. It will be who we are on the inside that alone will count. How rich we have made ourselves in the sight of God will be the only yardstick.

There is a beautiful prayer in one of the psalms: ‘Make us know the shortness of life that we may gain wisdom of heart’. Having wisdom of heart reminds us of many things, not usually of that which may seem urgent, but more of what is truly important. It reminds us of our Soul purpose, of our Soul value and of our need for continual Soul maintenance. As we get older and experience time running out faster, a bit like a toilet roll as it comes to an end, we will question if our life was all about us, or was it part of a bigger picture?

As I get older my better self will review my life and critically evaluate what it is truly thankful for. It’s unlikely to be the long hours spent working, but the way I chose to relate to others and how good I made them feel. It will never regret the countless acts of kindness and generosity, the way I used my money wisely to help feed and house others. Certainly, it will never chastise me for being over generous, taking time out and doing whatever it took to discover why I am here and to pursue my soul’s purpose.

Mon Aug 4^th – Medication Dependency

Once during a period of burnout and suffering sleep deprivation I was prescribed psychotic medication with the promise that this would be the answer. It became a living hell caused by an allergic reaction that went unrecognized for months. Unfortunately, many medical practitioners find it easier to up a dose than to admit that what they have prescribed is now making the condition far worse. I noticed that while taking the medication it was coupled by a strange illusion that I needed more and more of the stuff in order to feel better. Such was the addictive nature of the substance that I didn’t recognize at the time. The mental distortion was overwhelmingly scary and yet from a psychotherapy perspective very insightful as to the mental state of many suicide victims. At this point I always ask the question, was he or she on medication, knowing that the medical profession will be slow to admit responsibility. It has also allowed me to access the story behind the story of horror happenings where one member of a family may kill those he loves. The medication effect can leave that person utterly convinced that he is acting out of love and saving them from the horrors of the world.