World Meeting of Families – Let’s be real.

A lucky bag!
Valentine’s Day Cards; Gift tokens; Novelty window and car-bumper stickers; a notice board. Some even highlighting the nature of God as ‘a family of persons in the Trinity’ as outlined in ‘The Joy of Love.’
These arrived last night with a late knock at the door. There is mighty brainstorming going on somewhere and it seems like a marketing bonanza of imaginary tricks and teasers. Why do I both admire the energy and surprises while still feel rather reluctant at the whole enterprise?
An artificial construct?
I begin to think of the profile of families here. They would fit very well into what Francis describes as being at the heart of the Gospel. But somehow I can’t see how a collection of prelates with tall hats and colourful outfits can fit into my family group. We need the messed up, chaotic struggle of most ordinary and real families to be centre stage. We have to reflect the life of the family in Ireland and not some idealised version. Don’t anyone dare to suggest ‘the holy family’ as our model! I have been told that Philadelphia had an air of unreality and was full of nice, middle class, happy families! I don’t know. This may be very unfair. I was told this by …….!!!!!
The little ones here:
We have 73 children for First Communion. They are magnificent. Their spontaneity and enthusiasm is delightful. They are bursting with life and honesty and fun. They come to Mass (in preparation) and are eager to chat and take part. This age has to be celebrated. We need something like First Communion to mark this great time of their lives. Some of them even see our shared Eucharist as the best part of their day. The usual adults at daily Mass, are thrilled with them.
The luxury of ordinary life:
I think of their families. I think of their homes. I think of the mixture of life that happens for them. I think of the Home School Liaison person. I think of the School being the only home that some children know. I think of what Deis band 1^* means. I think of the aspirations and ambitions of the Schools for them. I think of the teachers and the great banter among us all. But I also wonder where would our families fit into a World Meeting of Families. A neat and tidy collection of an idealised family doesn’t reflect much of what I know.
We are privileged:
If I could tell the stories I know, it would shatter the ideas and profile of family life that will be celebrated in August. Every possible make up of family is here. I know the love in those families. I know the beauty in those families. I know the brokenness in many families. I know the chaos in many families. I know the utter impossibility of these children holding onto the wonder of their delightful age of First Communion time. I know the outsider sense of most from the official make up of official and formal church.
Confirmation: Confirming what?
I know also that of those 73 children, only maybe two or three will make it to a few weekend Masses. I know that the adults in those homes haven’t lost God but have no real connection with the God we celebrate at church. I know that the 70 or so children for Confirmation will know nothing really of the God that our Church wants to celebrate. But I also know that there are many grandparents struggling to make up what is missing for the children. I know the tears of many as they see the little ones rotten with drugs or dragged into criminality.
Our holy families:
I know how few homes are like the ones we used to know – a father and a mother (married, praying together, eating together; holy water font, churching together). It isn’t like that and it won’t be like that. Our concept of present day family is very different. I know too that my worry isn’t about the young people attending church; it is rather people of my own age who have faded away from the Church. Several generations have left us. God has got lost along the way. I know too that the chattering and complaining classes get worked up about the Baptism cert and the control the church has in Schools; I know it is total nonsense. Our control here is nothing but time and commitment to help the school community do its best. If control means that we manage to hijack the children and the families into church and browbeat them; we have definitely failed completely!
The Heineken Advert:
The old Heineken ad spoke of ‘the beer refreshing the parts that other beers cannot reach.’ Well how I wish that this gathering in August would celebrate the mess and the reality of life as it is lived among us in this country at present. We don’t need pious waffle rattling away with the so called elite of Church life talking of a world and a family that barely exists.
How far can you go?
Many years ago, I was chatting with John Coventry S.J. John was a fine theologian and a deeply committed Ecumenist. He mused over the important questions of the time: how could the various churches and church people mix together (a different version of David Lodge’s ‘how far can you go?’). John said: “I often feel that I have much more in common with many of the Anglican theologians than I have with most of my own fellow priests.” He wondered where that might go in terms of celebrating Eucharist! I am also somewhat fearful – have I very little in common now with the kind of Church that will gather in August and present itself to Francis; with the description of family; with the language used; with the kind of Ritual marking the occasion?
The sexual chaos of today:
There is sexual chaos at present in our world. There is a total mess in family life. There is confusion about the 8^th Amendment and the upcoming Referendum. There is a great gap between the ordinary life of home and the Church that comes together. Parish life is a very humbling reality. Every day, we stop in amazement as we ramble onto the various oases of faith sprinkled everywhere. God is challenging us to join in a treasure hunt. We are told that faith is to be celebrated in a new way and in a new language and that the God of our people has to be reintroduced to ourselves and to everyone. Like the Heineken (ad) we somehow have to reach parts that no-one else can reach (with the excitement of God/faith/love/wonder/prayer).
Revelation:
A different God is being revealed. A new language is being created. But if we come together as Family of families; we must make sure that there is a reality which reflects Ireland today. We don’t have to think of Finglas. Many of us can look at our own families and a certain reality will show itself immediately. I don’t dismiss or undermine anything of the mighty work being done in preparation. I am concerned that it can reflect something of what we see daily.
Seamus Ahearne osa

*
Delivering Equality of Opportunity in Schools (DEIS) the Action Plan for Educational Inclusion, was launched in May 2005 and remains the Department of Education and Skills (Ireland) policy instrument to address educational disadvantage. DEIS is now used informally as meaning disadvantaged.