Seán Walsh: Wee Girl Fretting

WEE GIRL FRETTING

– Oh, Daddy –

– There, there, alana –

– Daddy, Daddy –

– Schhh, now, schhh…

– If, if Mummy can’t get in –

– Nice and warm, aren’t you? –

– When we, we’re asleep –

– Well, I won’t lock the back door, Jenny, simple as that –

– Promise. Promise, Daddy –

– Your Mummy? That loves you? And you love her. 

Never! No way would I do such a thing!

– Oh, Daddy! Daddy, I love you!

– And I love you, sweetheart. Come on now. Big long sleep…

– Once, Daddy, once when I got home from school I, I was locked out –

– Oh, no! Dear, dear, dear…

– And I didn’t know what, what to do –

– Well, it won’t ever happen again, Jenny –

– On your word of honour?

– Honest to God –

– All right, then –

– Not you, not your Mummy – 

no one will ever be locked out of this house, ever again!

– Good boy, Daddy –

– Okay?

– Okay, Daddy –

– Wee wet blue eyes… ‘Got enough tissues?

– Ah, ha –

– Come on, then. Tuck in, nice and warm –

– You, you won’t go out – ?

– No, I’ll just be downstairs –

– ‘Won’t close my –

– No, I won’t close your door, Jenny –

– And will you come to bed? –

– Yes, I’ll be going to bed, too. Very soon. 

Now, I’ll just lower your light, just a little, okay?

– Okay… Oh, and Daddy, Daddy!?

– Hmmmm?

– You will call me – ?

– Don’t I always? ‘See you in the morning, sunshine…

– See you… in the… morning…

– Sleep tight, sweetheart.

– My Daddy, aren’t you?

– That’s for sure. And always will be –

– No matter what.

– No matter what…

I listen on the landing:

a wee cry… soft, sad whimper. 

‘Wait for her to turn, 

drift into Dreamland, 

sucking her thumb, inevitably…

Seán Walsh

from Dead Man Talking, a chapter in my book:

NOTES ON THE PAST IMPERFECT