Jim Cogley Reflections: Tues 24 June – Mon 30 June 2025

Tues 24^th June – Burnout

The occupational hazard in my profession is paradoxically what the role of a priest is supposed to be all about. At ordination part of the ceremony is to prostrate oneself in front of the altar as a symbol of service to the People of God. In theory then the good priest should always be of service, be available 24/7 and always have his mobile phone at the ready. This is also part of the burden of expectation that comes with the job that today is mostly imposed by non-churchgoers who often expect their needs to be met as and when they want them. This reality is little different if one is a parent, a caregiver or a spouse. As a parent it’s deemed almost necessary to put your own needs on hold for the sake of your children. So many caregivers become depressed as someone else’s needs always take precedence over their own. A balance between giving to others and caring for myself is extremely difficult but vitally important for survival and wellbeing.

Wed 25^th June – A Painful Lesson

Many months suffering from serious burnout is a hard way of learning the importance of self-care and that we can’t be the answer to everyone’s needs. A few years of constant callers, most in some form of crisis, and non-stop phone calls led to a gradual erosion of reflective and prayer time for myself when I would normally recharge my batteries. When no longer able to give out of abundance I continued to give, but more out of emptiness and resentment. My inability to say ‘no’ to demands became related to my need to be needed because I was now running on empty. My lack of personal boundaries had been exposed and while to all appearances I was the ‘good’ and ‘dutiful’ priest who was giving more than his all, the reality was that at an inner level I was in deep trouble and had lost my connection with source. Burnout was when my chickens finally came home to roost!

Thurs 26^th June – Backsliding

A homeless man was asked if he prayed. He replied, ‘Look at the holes in the knees of my trousers, that’s how much praying I do. But I also have holes in the seat of my trousers and that’s the result of backsliding.’ Essentially prayer is spending time simply sitting in the lap of God. The scriptural term for it could be ‘abiding’. When we are not abiding we are backsliding. Padre Pio once said that ‘In the spiritual life we are either going forward or backwards but there is no in-between’. The backward journey always leads us towards egocentricity where everything revolves around me and my petty concerns. This is where I am convinced that ‘I’ must, should and ought to try harder. It is where I begin to live no longer from my heart centre but more from my head. I will recognize this when my thoughts focus on yesterday or tomorrow and I will no longer be living in the present.

Fri 27^th June – Saying ‘no’ can improve our ‘yes

It is of vital importance that we establish personal boundaries that are right for us. This may mean saying ‘no’ more often than we used to where ‘no’ may not mean ‘never’ but simply ‘not now’. In fact, while we may fear the reaction of others by being true to ourselves, we will very quickly regain and command their respect. Setting aside some time daily that is sacrosanct is also vital for a spiritual life. Having learned the hard way, being available 24/7 is not what I now practice, except for emergencies. By nature, I am a night owl, so someone who comes to my door before 8am and glibly says, ‘I’m calling now because the early bird catches the worm.’ I politely reply, ‘Fine but early birds run the risk of getting shot around here!’ Similarly with early morning phone callers who begin a conversation with, ‘I’m sorry for calling you so early’, I often say, ‘That makes two of us.’ Or ‘So am I’. Whatever it takes, the message of having personal boundaries needs to be addressed and heard as a strategy for long-term survival.

Sat 28^th June – Christ and Boundaries

Where do we see evidence in the Gospels of Christ exercising personal boundaries? Perhaps most of all in his prayer life where in the midst of busy ministry he would rise early in the morning and gave time to commune with His Father. There are times when we see him engaged in a full day of healing with the crowds clamouring for more the next day, and he simply instructs his disciples that they are now moving to a different location. Refusing to bow to collective expectations is an essential ingredient of discipleship. Then we see him steadfastly taking the road for Jerusalem, even though suffering and death await him. Here Peter remonstrates saying ‘Heaven forbid that you do this.’ To which he replies, ‘Get behind me Satan.’ Refusing to bow to another person’s expectations or opinion and not allowing them to have control over us, is another essential ingredient of discipleship.

Sun 29^th June – Saints Peter and Paul

In celebrating the feast of Peter and Paul we are reminded that God calls the most unlikely people to do his work. These were considered the two great pillars of the early Church. There should have been three, but in the interests of Patriarchy Mary Magdalene conveniently got airbrushed out of history, even thought she was closer to Christ than any of the others.

There is something in all of us that tends to believe that the very last person on this earth that God could ever use is me, that because of my past, my background, my lack of education, my limitations, my unworthiness, I would not be the one. In the end of the day these are just thinly veiled excuses. What God wants from all of us is neither our ability nor our inability but simply our availability. It’s an attitude of getting up each day and saying, ‘Lord I’m yours, let my life make a difference, let your Spirit work through me’. Then in the simplest and most profound of ways things can happen that make a big difference, a friendly word or a reassuring smile can lift someone’s heart, a chance encounter can prove to be very important and the right word in the right place can change someone’s life.

Peter was the first of Jesus’ disciples who had accompanied him through his years of public ministry. Paul on the other hand never met Christ and didn’t appear on the scene until the early Church was being established. Peter is the character I would be most drawn to with my own sea background and its I could have got on well with him while Paul I might have found to be hard going.

The sheer ordinariness of Peter’s background is something I find quite appealing. He wasn’t the kind of person you could ever imagine as being destined for any kind of greatness. He lived in a very remote part of the Roman Empire, with little or no education and no influence. When we read his background we find that he was a very poor individual. Jesus first encounter with him was when he was casting his net into the Sea of Galilee. That itself is revealing because it meant he didn’t even own his own boat. Only the poorest class of fishermen owned a few nets for fishing in the shallow waters near the shore. It was the way many of the villagers made a meagre living. Peter had married a woman from Capernaum and neither did he own his own house, his family was crowded into the household of his in-laws. When asked by Jesus to leave everything and follow him he wasn’t leaving behind much more than his nets. Who apart from God would ever have earmarked such an individual to become the first Pope and leader of the Christian faith.

To say the least Paul came with a chequered history. He was a man with a past and perhaps because of it the early church found a future. Originally Saul of Tarsus he was one of the leading Pharisees that Jesus denounced so publicly. Saul was hell bent on destroying this new Christian faith and doing whatever it took to eliminate its followers. He was even prepared to stoop to murder. One of his first victims was St Stephen whose killing he fully condoned. Then he had his amazing conversion on the Damascus road and that was what set him on a new road to becoming the greatest missionary who ever lived with his letters known as epistles being read out at every Mass to this very day two thousand years later. However, all that didn’t happen overnight and it wasn’t all easily sailing. When he appeared first on the scene he was naturally viewed with suspicion by the early Christians. How could they trust this murderer to now be a preacher so they basically all turned their backs on him.

Eventually he was befriended by a man called Barnabas who paved the way for him to be accepted into the Christian community. This man, known by the beautiful title ‘Son of Encouragement’, saw a greatness and potential in him that was far superior to his own. Paul went on to become the greatest missionary the world has ever known, and his gifts were indispensable for the early church. Yet the truth remains that without a Barnabas to encourage and support there would have been no Paul. Who knows how many potentially great ones like Peter and Paul never became great simply by being held back by lack of encouragement or by those who resented them becoming the persons God wanted them to be.

Mon 30^th June – Passivity

Being passive is certainly not a Christian virtue or ideal. On the contrary it is a sure indication of having poor personal boundaries. Being passive is where we adopt such phrases as, ‘Let’s not rock the boat’ for fear that someone might get upset. Or ‘Anything for a quiet life’ when a good row, like a thunderstorm, might be necessary to clear the air. ‘Let sleeping dogs lie’, is another form of avoidance where we forget that one day when hungry they will wake up. ‘Least said soonest mended’ sometimes is valid but usually results in nothing being mended or healed. To say nothing when we should be saying something means that we repress our emotions. In essence, being passive is to have no boundaries and so to lack respect for oneself.