Jim Cogley: Reflections Tues 3 Dec – Mon 9 Dec 2024

More seeds for the sowing. Please pray that as they go out to the four winds that they will reach where they are meant to reach and touch the lives they are meant to touch…

Tue 3^rd Dec – Counselling – My Introduction

My own journey into the world of counselling and psychotherapy came about more by accident than intent. Yet, I can see clearly a big element of divine orchestration at work. During the early 70s the Charismatic Renewal was sweeping the country with prayer meetings springing up in every town and village. With hindsight it was a wonderful opportunity for faith renewal that had it been promoted by the powers that be, and not viewed with suspicion, as it often was, our church would not be in the sorry state of decline where it finds itself at present. During seminary years it was my lifeline, and I became deeply involved. After prayer meetings people would come to leaders for prayer ministry and this became a wonderful learning opportunity at a young age to understand something of the complex world of healing. During those early days the vast majority understood healing only in terms of miraculous interventions and to be fair we did witness many extraordinary miracles take place. As time progressed, our understanding of healing began to deepen as we came to understand it as a journey into wholeness.

Wed 4^th Dec – A Spiritual Foundation

One of the truly great blessings of being introduced to psychology and psychotherapy through Charismatic Renewal was that spirituality was its source and always the intrinsic component of the work. There was a very healthy balance of awareness growing between the human and the spiritual. In fact, as our understanding deepened, we came to see the human and the spiritual journey as completely one, that to be a truly spiritual person meant becoming a fully alive human being, and to become truly human was not possible without a spiritual journey. The word ‘salvation’ that is so much part of religious vocabulary, we saw as coming from the Latin word ‘salus’ meaning wholeness. Unfortunately, this was understood by most at the time as getting into Heaven. Slowly we came to appreciate that Christ’s teachings were more about the here and now than the hereafter, and that salvation was all about the journey of becoming whole in this life. Similarly, we began to notice the interconnections between the words ‘holy’, ‘whole’ and ‘humility’. The latter comes from the Latin ‘humus’ meaning ‘of the earth’ which helped up to see that ‘earthiness’ had not been a feature of our religion in spite of it being the faith system that was fully based on the doctrine of Incarnation.

Thurs 5^th Dec – Basic Skills

In ministering to so many during the early days of Charismatic we were learning the basics of counselling skills. It extended beyond prayer to deep listening as to what was really going on in someone’s life and the realisation that prayer on its own was not going to fix the problem. Sometimes people had to be empowered and encouraged to make difficult choices. Through listening we could see that people were being enabled to hear what was going on in their lives. So, we learned to listen with the intention of hearing, and not with the intention of speaking. We learned the importance of silent attentive listening where we weren’t trying to fix or give advice. We simply gave the other prayerful sacred space and over time we noticed significant changes taking place. Coming to terms with difficult decisions in relationships often entailed seeing that something might be very right even if it appeared to break certain rules. Then when physical ailments and serious conditions remained, we noticed how the inner disposition became remarkably different. We saw  many who  lost the battle with a physical condition like cancer, yet we often had the satisfaction that while he or she had not been healed they had become whole, and ultimately that was our primary concern.

Fri 6^th Dec – Language Converging

Coming into counselling from a spiritual background our language would have been quite scriptural. We used terms like ‘discernment’ instead of ’intuition’. Praying with people we asked for ‘a word of knowledge’ rather than insight to guide us. Being new to the work we had no experience to back us up, no diplomas under our belt, and very few books to guide us. We simply trusted in Divine Providence, and it never let us down. As some of us who were in leadership roles back then progressed into the world of psychotherapy and formal training, we discovered that a rose was still a rose by any other name. The basic truths were the same, but the language was somewhat different. Being open and receptive to the client and listening with total attention was part of the first module in counselling training. Not being dependent on books, formal training or past experiences was a basic teaching in psychotherapy practice and what we had been doing for years simply because we had no other option. Following a thread of energy in a counselling session was also part of formal training while in scriptural terms we might have used the term ‘allowing ourselves to be led by the Spirit’.

Sat 7^th Dec – A Pioneering Experience

Returning to those early years experience of counselling by ‘the seat of our pants’ where it was like pioneering into the unknown, we learned so many lessons that were invaluable. Many of these are only finding their place in therapeutic literature forty to fifty years later. It was like Spirit was ahead of the posse. Often while praying for someone and asking for a word of knowledge a name or age would come to mind that when explored would be the key issue that would serve to release that person from some form of heaviness or oppression. To enquire about an ancestor lost at sea or at war would open up an untold story of unresolved grief and shed light on a recurring pattern of tragedy in the present family. In effect, we were engaging in Intergenerational or Family Tree Healing before we ever heard of the terms. It was decades later that womb trauma was researched and how a sibling lost in the womb could have a profound effect on that person’s adult experience. From the very beginning in prayer ministrysuch matters would present themselves as a word of knowledge. Unfortunately, at the time, we didn’t have enough information available to us and we were often left doubting our own discernment.

Sun 8^th Dec – Advent 2^nd Week ’24 – Opening the Door

I mentioned last week that because of so much confusion going on both in Church and in the world at present we badly need to keep an eye on thebasics of our faith and that if our lives were like a computer, it would be no harm to press the reset button which for us would not beto return tofactory settings but to invite Christ into our heartsand accept him as Lord and Saviour. This would be like dethroning the ego or the ’I’ that controls our lives, and to surrender to the higher power that is Christ. I was tempted to move on from thereand press the ‘continue’ button this week but that might not be wise. To really accept Christ and open our hearts to him is such a massive step and is the biggest most far-reaching decision we will ever make in our lives.

Much of what is involved is expressed in a story that is told in one of my books, The Spiritual Self.  It’s about an elderly and illiterate couple who had emigrated to New York. All their childhood beliefs and practices had long been forgotten. One night travelling home they heard a Salvation Army Band playing some hymns and they stopped to listen. This was followed by a talk and then an altar call to give their lives to God and invite Christ into their hearts. Both responded and went forward. All their childhood faith suddenly came alive, and their joy knew no bounds. It is like that and when it happened to me my mother kept quizzing to know if I had fallen in love. Katie and Mike went home on cloud nine and he was all excited when he went to the next meeting that was just for the men. Coming home he looked despondent. He told Katie that he felt he didn’t belong, they all wore a blue jumper with something written across the front. Katiewas happy to oblige with her knitting needles and soon produced a very fine garment. Then the problem arose as to what to write on the front since neither could read nor write. So, they sat down and prayed for guidance. Just then a notice was being placed in a shop window opposite and they made an act of faith that this must be their answer. So, it was placed on the jumper and Mikey went off to his next men’s meeting. Coming home Katie could see the smile on his face as he came up the path. Bursting with curiosity she asked how he had got on this time. His jumper had received numerous compliments but that was nothing compared to the caption that had won everyone’s hearts. Guess what it reads? ‘This business is now under new management.’

Christianity is essentially not about practicing our religion and coming to Mass, rather is much more about coming under new management. We can practice all our lives and miss the joy but coming under new management is where the fun and adventure begins.

This is such a big step that many never take it and settle for the safety of religious practice instead. Opening our hearts may be really difficult if we are blocked by shame and guilt from our past. One woman that I know was crippled by guilt at having walked away from her marriage because his neediness was so suffocating that she couldn’t breathe and knew that if she stayed her health would break down. Now happily living with someone else, the guilt she still feels is what holds her back, even though she had to do what she did so and was being absolutely true to herself. I explained that life sometimes forces us to make difficult choices between stagnation and growth, so where was she finding growth. It was very definitely in her new relationship where there was real love, support and freedom.

Her brother was a very conservative and traditionalist priest, and he had given her a hard time telling her that she was putting her eternal salvation at risk by what she had done and had shown no compassion as to how painful and necessary her choice had been. I reminded her that salvation was not just about getting into heaven but related much more to the here and now. It came from the Latin word Salus meaning ‘wholeness’, so if her marriage was leaving her crippled and this new relationship was helping her to find love and wholeness, then which was the way to salvation? For so many, guilt is an utterly crippling factor that prevents us from opening our hearts to the Lord. If he forgives us, we seem to forget that it is by forgiving ourselves that we truly honour him.

Also, this God of fear that we all grew up with prevents us from opening the door of our hearts when he comes knocking. Who wants to be judged, chastised or punished by the deity we believe in. Because of that, before opening the door we think that we need to make big changes and do a lot of tidying up before being ready to let him in. The reality is that we need to do absolutely nothing except open that door. When he does come in it is with unconditional love and acceptance of everything that is part and parcel of our lives. We don’t have to change one iota of the furniture and the bigger the mess the more engaged he will be in getting it all sorted. We notice that all our oughts, should and musts never made any difference but with Christ flooding our lives with his love everything that is not of love loses its hold and finds its way to the rubbish bin. It’s amazing how that works, we try to make changes in order to be loved and we fail. Yet it’s when we open our hearts and find ourselves totally loved that changes come about automatically. Many who felt trapped by an addiction or compulsion before opening the door said that not long afterwards, they developed a distaste for that which was not serving them. For some that even extended to giving up the fags where up to that they had been fighting a losing battle.

For others, there is a fear around opening our hearts to the Lord of what he might ask of me. The bottom line here is that if he comes into my heart to show me how much I am loved is it any wonder that whatever he asks will only be that I might show love in return and so he will guide me into situations where that love can find its greatest expression.

In the end of the way and at the closing of the day, if I have allowed Christ to have a home in my heart then I will have the absolute assurance thatI will have a place in his eternal home,  that is his word and such is his promise, that the one who opens their heart ‘I will come in and we will enjoy fellowship together’, and here he is talking about both in this life and in the next.

Finally, could I ask that in the coming weeks you give this invitation some serious consideration and not just conveniently put it to one side in your mind as soon as the prayers of the faithful commence. This is life changing, it is the stuff of eternity, and it’s so important to make a conscious decision, do we, or don’t we? Do we respond to his invitation and say yes or is it a no and the consequences we then have to live with? However, there is no in between on this one. It’s yes or no and the decision is entirely ours.

Mon 9^th Dec – Lessons for All

Many of the invaluable learnings from early days of ministry in Charismatic Renewal were ones that anyone involved in helping others can use to good purpose. One is never to spiritualise an emotional issue. Religious suppression has been endemic where the advice to ‘offer it up’ was commonplace. Wrapping a spiritual bandage over an emotional wound is simply a form of denial and suppression. To integrate the pain and feel it, rather than deny it, is the way to wholeness. Another lesson was to trust in Providence that whoever came in your path, that you would be given what was needed to be of assistance, even if it was simply knowing someone to refer them to who had expertise in their particular area of need. Getting ‘to know what is and isn’t mine,’ to borrow a line from Johnny Cash, is invaluable in counselling and so not carrying negative energies or issues as my own, that rightfully belong to, and need to be left with the other. Finally, to realise that ultimately, we can only lift another up if we are standing on higher ground. The extent that we are faithful to ourown inner journey will determine the number we deal with and the quality of help we can offer to others. We cannot bring anyone where we have not had the courage to go ourselves and sad to say, but there are many who are highly qualified that have yet to begin their own journey.