Jim Cogley’s Reflections: Tues 9 June 2026 – Mon 15 June 2026
Coming events:
Wood You Believe – Seminar – Healing of Childhood Trauma and Abuse
Born out of immense suffering in the Christian Brothers Order and arising from revelations of Sexual Abuse within their schools, a significant initiative has been launched at the birthplace of their founder Blessed Edmund Rice in Callan to create a Garden of Healing. This will be 15 large Stations of the Heart, sculptured in marble, that will reflect essential stages of the journey towards recovery.
A unique seminar will be offered on Sat 20th June where the models, originally made in wood, will be used to guide participants through a process of healing. It will also be an opportunity at this time of new beginnings for those taking part to refine the vision based on their own experience and create a legacy for the future.
This will be facilitated by Jim Cogley and Luba Rodzhuk from 10am to 4pm and bookings can be made to Jim Maher on 086-1276649. Early booking is advised.
Also a 5-day residential retreat will be given by Jim Cogley and Luba Rodzhuk in the Spiritan Retreat Centre in Navan June 22nd to 26th. This will be entitled Coming Home to Ourselves – The Healing Journey. As these events are almost full you are advised to book immediately on 046-9078973.
Worldwide Rosary Relay broadcast from Our Lady’s Island Church next Friday at 8pm.
Wood You Believe Books are available at lowest cost on website jimcogley.com
Tues June 9th – Childish Parents
A child was asked by a teacher if he had enjoyed his First Holy Communion Day and he replied, ‘Nope it was rotten.’ The teacher was surprised and asked why on earth it seemed so bad? He replied, ‘My parents are separated and my dad had rights to us on the day. My mum could only come to the Church, but he wouldn’t let her come for the party after and I really missed her being there’. To console him she said, ‘Well sometimes parents can be very childish’. ‘They sure can,’ he replied, ‘and my dad is the biggest child of all.’ It’s surprising just how perceptive children can be. On occasions like that what are parents thinking and whose needs are they putting first? Like a teacher who is hard on a child do they forget that the child will soon become an adult and remember clearly what happened?
Wed June 10th – Used as Ammunition
We often hear it said, and more often see it happen, where children are used as ammunition between parents who are in conflict. It is a feature of ammunition that it can only be used once, a bullet once fired can never be fired again. Where this is allowed to happen children literally can be destroyed in the process. Having to choose between parents is a burden too great for any child to carry. They should never be expected to love one parent more than another but encouraged to love each one differently. When a parent speaks negatively about their former partner to their child, without being aware of it they are doing untold damage. Long term that child will grow to resent that parent while also having to struggle with repairing the negative image implanted in his or her mind in relation to that other parent.
Thurs June 11th – Living Someone Else’s Life
A man who recently retired from the civil service said that the first morning of his retirement was also the first morning for many years that he wanted to get out of bed. Every morning of his life he had awoken feeling anxious, not looking forward to his work and dreading the day ahead. While still a teenager he had discovered that he had a gift for singing and wanted to pursue that way of life. His parents strongly advised him against going down that route as being too insecure and strongly recommended that instead it would be far wiser to secure a nice pensionable job and then if he wanted to consider singing, he could go for it then. During his working life he felt so suffocated with what he was doing that his gift for singing rarely came to the fore. Now at the end of his career his deepest regret was that he had pursued his parents’ agenda for his life and had not been true to himself.
Fri June 12th – The Lost Child of 70
Recently a 95-year-old lady passed away leaving her son who lived with her bereft, lost and heartbroken. During the time of the funeral, he acted not as a 70-year-old but more like a confused 10-year-old who hadn’t a clue what to do. There had been four in the family and while the other fledglings had flown the nest, he found it too comfortable to leave and it was also obvious that mommy had made sure the nest was always as pleasant as she could make it. Over the years she had done everything a good Irish mammy could do and waited on him hand and foot. It was now painfully obvious that he had never become a full adult in his own right and able to look after himself. His sense of self had never developed and her ability to let him go was always in question. On occasions he had brought girlfriends home, but they had always met with her disapproval. So, his mommy had become his best friend but unfortunately his only friend. Now she was gone and he was left like a frightened child without an adult leg to stand on. Without separation on both sides there can be no emergence of the self.
Sat June 13th – The Real Inheritance
Most parents cherish the thought of leaving a good inheritance for their children. They often work hard to achieve that end and are often oblivious to the fact that those same children are often financially quite secure and really don’t need money from their parents. The reality is that the true inheritance that parents leave can never be written into a will and while it is invisible it is nevertheless much more influential. A parent’s true inheritance is going to be the legacy of their life, both positive and negative. Children always take up where their parents have left off. Parents who lived their life to the full will leave a legacy of the fullness of life. On the other hand, parents who lived and died with unfinished business, never confronting their own issues, will also leave a different kind of inheritance that will be a burden for future generations. What one generation might choose to forget another will be forced to remember.
Sun June 14th – Call of Disciples
When we read the account of Christ calling his early disciples how do we hear it? Is it simply an event of 2000 years ago that had significance or is it something that is every bit as relevant for us today as it was back then? Looked at historically, there had been twelve tribes in ancient Israel and in setting up the new Israel that is the Christian Church, Christ called twelve to be his closest followers. From a human point of view, they were a motley and diverse lot and yet Christ saw something in them that was inner greatness and he could look beyond what they were to what they could become if they said yes to his call. Take Matthew as just one example. Who else could have seen Matthew the tax collector having the makings of an apostle, an evangelist and a saint. There is no seminary in the world that would even consider his application with such a reputation and lack of credentials. In fact, it’s unlikely if any of those early apostles would have qualified except perhaps Judas who was to betray him
That’s the historical viewpoint and we do such a disservice to the Bible when we stop there and only read it as history. The Scripture is meant to be a living word that speaks directly into our situation in the here and now. So, looked at in that light what is it saying?
First, it is about God’s call on each of our lives and whether we choose to answer that call or not. Of course, Christ sees what we are and the mess we may have made of our lives, but he also sees what we can become if we surrender ourselves and accept him as Lord. Like those early apostles, he doesn’t need us to change anything about ourselves, but he does invite us to open the door of our hearts. It’s up to him to make whatever changes as might be necessary. We will always be a work in progress.
God’s call on us is connected to the deepest questions we can ask and to the deepest longings of our hearts. Those deep questions are ones like, ‘Why am I here?’ ‘Do I have a purpose in life?’ ‘Will I ever find it?’ and ‘Where am I going?’ In other words, does my life have meaning and significance or am I just a piece of flotsam and jetsam on the great ocean of life? Albert Einstein once said that the two greatest days of his life were first, the day he was born and second the day he discovered why. That is the real big question for all of us to discover the why of our being here/What is my purpose?
As a teenager I took to heart a poem I came across somewhere that went like this:
Live for something, have a purpose, and that purpose keep in view.
Wandering like a helmless vessel, thou can’st not to self be true.
Half the wrecks that strew life’s ocean, if some star had been their guide.
Might have now been riding safely, but they drifted with the tide.
We don’t have to look around too far to see loads of lives that are drifting nowhere, they seem lost and lack direction, there’s no sense of purpose. Such lives may seem full but you can sense a lack of fulfilment. If purpose is what we want, then inviting Christ into our lives and accepting him as Lord and master is the very first step. Slowly from there he reveals to us that God has indeed created us for some definite purpose. There is a work allotted to me that is given to no other. I have a contribution to make in life that is unique. I have a song to sing that is different, even if I haven’t a note in my head. The more I say yes to my calling the more I will discover that everything I need to fulfil that calling I already possess. I may also discover hidden talents that I never knew I had. Also, I will discover the miracle of Providence where the right people and the right resources come my way at the right time. Divine orchestration will also begin to happen where I find myself being in the right place at the right time and meeting the right people.
All of this is a given provided I say a sincere yes to the Lord’s invitation to come follow him. He is always as good as his word and true to his promises.
Finally, back to those early apostles and their call. Christ’s coming into their lives and offering his invitation to follow him was a moment of grace that could so easily have been lost. Each one could just as easily have said no and got on with their lives. Instead, they didn’t, each one apart from Judas gave their heart and souls to the great adventure that was being offered. Years later, with just hours left to live and looking back, how do you think they would have felt about their decision to say yes so many years earlier? One day we too will be in that same place and having run out of runway will be looking back. Then we will see that we too had our invitation and it will be abundantly clear as to how we responded. The choice is always ours.
Mon June 15th – Unfinished Business
What kinds of unfinished business from parents gets passed down to their children? We could even ask what doesn’t? One has to be resentment and unforgiveness. Unresolved conflict always becomes a legacy. Three generations ago, two families who lived side by side got locked into conflict over land. Today their siblings view each other with the same hostility as their ancestors even though they know little of the reason. Many a person suffering mental illness is conveniently labelled but rarely understood as the unfortunate who is carrying the family secret. In a culture where becoming pregnant outside of marriage was deemed worse than murder many families carry a story that is kept secret and never allowed to come to the light for healing. With so little help available in the past to help people resolve grief this is often a huge legacy that leaves the more vulnerable family members wondering why they seem to be always carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders.