Jm Cogley: Postings 30 May – 5 June ‘23
My apologies that the reflections for last week were only partially delivered and that the entire group on the mailing list were not included. Today I have just returned from a trip to Medjugorje and the postings are a bit late being sent.
Tue 30 May
A True Story Part 1
A delightful story is told of a German man called Franz Kafka who died at the early age of forty nearly a hundred years ago in 1924. He never married and had no children. One day while walking through a public park in Berlin he met a young girl who was very upset and crying because she had lost her favourite doll. He offered to help, and they both spent some time searching for the doll, but were unsuccessful. They arranged to meet the next day, when again they would search for the doll. Yet again they failed to find it, and Kafka gave the girl a letter supposedly written by the doll saying, ‘please do not cry, I have taken a trip to see the world. Remember that I love you and will write to you often to tell you about my adventures’. The story continues………..
Wed 31st May
Story Part 2
The two met regularly in the park and became friends. Each time Kafka carefully read letters from the doll full of adventures and conversations that the girl found adorable. One day he bought a doll while in Berlin and gave it to the girl saying that it had come back. But, said the girl ‘It doesn’t look like my doll at all.’ Kafka handed her another letter in which the doll wrote. ‘My travels have changed me.’ The little girl then hugged the doll and brought it to her happy home. A year later Kafka died. The girl became an adult and one day picked up her doll and thought of her lovely friend. Inside she found a tiny letter signed by Kafka. It simply said: ‘Everything you love will probably be lost, but in the end love will return in another way.’ How important it is to embrace change before it is forced upon us. Together we can shift pain into wonder and wonder into love, but it is up to us to consciously create that connection.
Thurs June 1
Using Criticism
A native sat under a palm tree having his siesta. There were lots of monkeys close by playing in the trees and one threw a coconut that hit him on the head. Instead of throwing it back he took his knife and cracked it open. He drank the delicious coconut milk, then he ate the meat and trimming the edges he made himself two handy little bowls. Whether a criticism be valid or not, there is usually something good to be got out of it, and so it’s important to deal with it constructively. Even if it‘s totally untrue it may awaken an earlier event where I was a victim of lies or a time when I was traumatized by something that was done to me.
Fri June 2
Welcoming Criticism
None of us like being criticized but we just might be courageous enough to invite it under the form of constructive criticism. One such couple made a pact after they got married that on their anniversary they would ask each other a very courageous question. He would ask her what was it like for you to have me as your husband for the past year. In turn she would ask him what it was like for you to have me as your wife for the past week. Such is a level of openness not found in many relationships. Yet in the particular case, it has resulted in wonderful growth and awareness for both parties. Rather than drive them apart it has served to bring them much closer together.
Sat June 3
Approval Addiction
Christ received much criticism during the course of his public life. The Pharisees slated him for breaking the law always tried to find something to use against him. Even his own family came to rescue him, thinking he had gone mad. He said himself that human approval meant nothing to him and he advised his followers to seek the approval that comes from God and not to be looking for it from people. Approval addiction is endemic. In our need for validation from others and fearing their criticism we can so easily be untrue to ourselves. Many find it difficult to say ‘no’ even when they know they are being used. So many in the service industry promise the sun, moon and stars and yet fail to deliver, or even turn up when they say they will. An inordinate need to be thought good of usually has the opposite effect, where the other lessens his or her respect.
Sun June 4
Holy Spirit
For all of us we may well wonder at times if we might be missing out on something important in our Christian experience? Did you ever feel that the Christian life has to be about a lot more than a difficult struggle to try and lead a good life as if it all depended on me, on my will and my power. If we feel that there’s a distinct lack of joy and enthusiasm in our lives and that we have never found something in our Christian experience that we want to shout from the rooftops, then what we are really lacking is a direct encounter with the Holy Spirit. The Spirit that Jesus promised wasn’t poured out as a kick-start to get the infant church up and running. It was always part of the divine plan that every believer who accepted Jesus Christ as Lord of his or her lives would be filled with that same Spirit. The Christian life is by definition a life of union with Christ lived in the power of the Spirit. Rather than being about will power it is about my will, yes, but working in conjunction with the power of the Spirit.
Mon June 5
Support V approval
Christ spoke to his followers of the danger of looking to each other for approval and neglecting the approval that comes from being true to themselves and doing God’s will. There is a big difference between approval and support. To support someone is not necessarily to approve of their actions but it is to be there for them no matter what they may have done. A young person on drugs needs the support of his parents to break the addiction. It doesn’t mean that they condone the behaviour, or even are prepared to share the same house with the addict. The Bible teaches in Proverbs that a friend deserves support even if he or she has forsaken the Law of the Most High. Christ took support from Simon of Cyrene when carrying his cross. Simon didn’t carry it for him, but he did lend support. It is with support that we can get through most things in life. The need for approval is a form of addiction that diminishes us while support empowers us to become our best selves.