Jim Cogley’s Reflections: Tues 29 Sept – Mon 5 Oct 2026

Please note: The 4 day retreat for Ballyvaloo in October is now full but you may wish to be placed on a waiting list in the event of cancellations.

A seminar day on HEALING and INTEGRATION will be facilitated by Jim Cogley and Luba Rodzhuk on Sat 10^th Oct from 10am to 4pm in the Edmund Rice Callan Healing and Heritage Centre. The cost of the day is €50 (including light lunch). Bookings to Jim Maher on 086-1276649. Please book as early as possible.

Wood You Believe books are available at seminars and on website: jimcogley.com

Tues 29^th Sept – Wisdom of Heart

I once knew someone who, like so many in the Ireland of today, life had been good to him. He was gifted with business acumen and had found a niche market while still quite young. His steel fabrication business prospered and made him a multi-millionaire. He retired at 60 and was ready to live the dream of so many. He took his world cruise and went on several exotic holidays every year. He owned an expensive yacht, a holiday home and a top of the range car. Yet with such a full life, and all the adult toys he could wish for, he was still unfulfilled and carried an emptiness that he was reluctant to face up to or even admit. He came seeking advice because he felt so lost and he was smoking heavily. While not an alcoholic, he was drinking more than was good for him and using both nicotine and alcohol to numb his inner pain.

Wed 30^th Sept – Running on Empty

At one level he had succeeded in achieving everything that the world could offer in terms of finding happiness. He began to notice that the more he had accumulated externally the emptier he was feeling on the inside. The more he had gained the world the more he was losing his soul. He was painfully aware of a vacuum within that cried out to be filled. We talked about the burden and responsibility of having wealth. How it can create a false sense of security and even become equated with one’s identity. Having more doesn’t mean to be more. I suggested that having retired so young and still with lots of energy he might consider making an investment in a project that would be more of a legacy that would outlast him, something when on his death bed his deeper self would thank him for. In other words, why not use his money and expertise to make a significant difference in the world. Perhaps create a charitable company, using his own resources initially but in a manner that would eventually become self-supportive.

Thurs 1^st Oct – Self-Indulgence

I still feel a sense of deep sadness for him that he never got beyond the place of basically living for himself, spending money on himself and worrying about how he should divide the remainder of his wealth between his family, none of whom really needed it. I watched him lead a life of indulgence centred around his own family circle. Like so many he shielded his lack of generosity under the guise of having to look after his family. It wasn’t a healthy lifestyle, he never exercised, he vegetated in front of the TV and his health began to deteriorate. Even with failing health he remained in a death-defying mode. While hardly able to walk he was still planning a makeover for his house, bought himself a bigger yacht and upgraded his car to the latest model.

Fri 2^nd Oct – Denial

It was sad to see him acting as if everything was normal. Everyone who knew him could see that he was fast running out of runway while he himself seemed to be in total denial. I wasn’t with him when he passed but I suspect that he was still entrenched in denial. I also suspect that death came to him as a thief in the night rather than as a welcome visitor. Knowing him over many years I felt a deep sense of sadness over so many missed opportunities to have done something wonderful with his life. In life he was admired as a successful businessman and very wealthy but nothing of that could he bring with him. When the demand is made for our souls, it will no longer matter what we had but more what we made of ourselves. It will be who we are on the inside that alone will count. How rich we have made ourselves in the sight of God will be the only yardstick.

Sat 3^rd Oct – Wisdom

There is a beautiful prayer in one of the psalms, ‘Make us know the shortness of life that we may gain wisdom of heart’. Having wisdom of heart reminds us of many things, not usually of that which may seem urgent, but more of what is truly important. It reminds us of our Soul purpose, of our Soul value and of our need for continual Soul maintenance. This includes the need to offload the negative things that weigh us down like bitterness and resentments. In terms of generosity soul wisdom would teach us that we own nothing but are stewards of God’s resources and is our life like a river that keeps on giving or is it like a reservoir that only wants to receive. As we get older and experience time running out faster, a bit like a toilet roll as it comes to an end, we will question if our life was all about us, or was it part of a bigger picture?

Sun 4^th Oct – The Corner Stone

The stone rejected by the builders has become the corner stone. This is the work of the Lord and is marvellous to see. We can understand that scripture verse not just in relation to Christ who is the corner stone of all our faith but also in relation to ourselves.

So I would like to share a few thoughts on just how it might relate to ourselves. As we reflect back over our life, what was the most difficult period, what was it that we found most painful and that we felt like rejecting the most? What is it that we find most difficult to talk about or have never shared with anyone? Most of us don’t have to look too far to find that particular something and most likely we locked it away some place in our minds where we thought was most safe in the hope that we would never have to revisit it again as long as we live. What we generally find is that something we try to keep hidden will keep coming back to haunt us until we make room for it in our lives.

What might some of those things be?

It might be an issue to do with one or other of our parents or even both in relation to how we felt treated. Most parents would claim to love all their children equally but in practice this is not the case. They do have favourites and if you were made feel the ugly duckling in relation to others then that does leave a big wound.

Even after all the abuse scandals being highlighted in recent years there are still a huge number of people who have never got the courage to tell their own story of how they were shamed and had their boundaries violated.

There may have been a heart rendering loss in your life, even early, that rocked you to the foundations and made you question the goodness of life.

You may have been married for years and then discovered your partner has been unfaithful. Suddenly your world goes pear-shaped and you find yourself on your own. It feels as if life has let you down and been unkind to you.

These are all the cornerstones we are inclined to reject as something we don’t want in our lives. At the time of their happening it’s impossible to see how we might ever find a place for them let alone give them a position of importance.

In the photo on the left is a piece of a shipwreck from two hundred years ago. It was brought to the surface by local fishermen in their nets close to Tuskar Rock. At first sight it seems utterly unattractive being full of slime and pockmarked by sea worms. Their first inclination was to consign it back to the deep and the second was one of curiosity. What might it be like if turned on the lathe? Could it reveal some surprises? Having held onto the wood for some time and regarding it as an nuisance and a waste of space I eventually began to turn it and was surprised to find inside an exquisite colour. It’s actually an exotic hardwood known as Paduak. Because its denser than water, it doesn’t float, and so sank to the bottom where it remained for two centuries.

Once I caught sight of its inner beauty I proceeded to design the rest of it into the ornate bowl that you see on the right of the photo. It’s even difficult to imagine that such a piece of beauty could have originated from something so unattractive and yet the wreckage was the raw material.

Yet such is the mystery and challenge of life. It presents us with lots of wreckage like some of the issues mentioned above. The temptation is to relegate them back to the depths of the unconscious, while the challenge is to do something positive with them.

The greatest healers in the world have themselves been deeply wounded by life but they have not allowed their hurts to define them. Instead, they have faced them with courage and transformed them into sources of healing for others.

The ones who work best with abuse victims have usually their own horrendous story of being a victim themselves but having faced their own pain it gives them compassion and understanding.

Many who have been betrayed in relationships, rather than take the view of once bitten twice shy, have gone on to form very meaningful second marriages. Many would say that what they learned from the first disaster was like a cornerstone for the next, thus ensuring that the same problems would not happen again.

It’s really a marvel to our eyes to witness how something so tragic as sexual abuse, or a violent childhood, can become the cornerstone of a person’s adult identity and makes them who they are. Yet it is the testimony of so many that having had the courage to face their pain, and engage with their issues, something that was utterly horrendous could be so transformed as to become the cornerstone of their lives. That same challenge is there for all of us. What we most reject has the potential to become the cornerstone.

Mon 5^th Oct – Who Am I?

The question many will never dare to ask is, who am I? This is apart from all the things I will one day have to leave behind. We will never be able to fully answer that question but it will guide our course and help us not lose sight of our higher purpose. As we get older my better self will review my life and critically evaluate what it is truly thankful for. It’s unlikely to be the long hours spent working, but the way I chose to relate to others and how good I made them feel. It will never regret the countless acts of kindness and generosity, the way I used my money wisely to help feed and house others. Certainly, it will never chastise me for being over generous, taking time out and doing whatever it took to discover who I am, why I am here and having had the wisdom to pursue my soul’s purpose.